Lately things have been a little rough for me. I'm not sure if it's because I am getting older or everyone I know is pregnant (ok maybe not everyone, but almost) or I'm just tired of the corporate business world I work in, but I am ready for the next phase of my life! I'm not gonna lie, it's hard sometimes to see friends that are my age or younger who have 2 and 3 kids. Don't get me wrong, I am overwhelmingly happy for them and their families! I swear from the time I was a little girl all I have wanted was to be a mom. I was always around babies as my neices and nephews are so close to the same age as me. I just love them! The girls at work tease me now because they say I need a family because I am too domestic not to have one of my own ;)
We have heard all the advice as well...."you'll never be able to afford kids", "just do it", "things will work out". Maybe that is where my faith lacks. I need more reassurance than that that my babies won't starve! Josh just needs to be a little closer to finishing school I think before we get pregnant....but who knows, anything is possible. We have kind of left it up to fate now ;) I just need to be patient as hard as it is. I know this but on most days when I return home after working with grown men who act like 5 year olds all day, it's REALLY hard! I do know that Heavenly Father sets things up just right for us...I did have to go through some heartache before I found the love of my life so maybe He is just preparing me now to be ready for our little ones. I hope so. If there is one thing the trials in my life have taught me it's that I appreciate things so much more and treasure the things that come after going through the trials. I think that's the point but during the trials ya just don't always see it!
I really love my husband and am grateful for the events that got me here. We definitely have our "moments" and I swear there are days where I feel like I have a kid and not a husband (haha ;), but at the end of the day my favorite place in the whole world is in his arms. We lost Josh's grandma last month and I just get teary-eyed everytime I think about his grandparents love for each other. They really are best friends and are such good examples of what a marriage should be! I hope we can have so many wonderful years together here and I am so grateful to know that we can be together forever! And maybe next year I'll be blogging about a little one in my belly ;)
